The importance of seduction and curiosity

Part of creating passionate users starts with building curiosity. Inspire them to want to learn, know, and do more. A comment from John Mitchell on my motivated to learn blog reminded me about this--he mentioned the importance of being passionately curious about the topic (and I couldn't agree more).

So can you inspire curiosity? Can you seduce the user into actively wanting more, even if that user didn't start out with their own intrinsic intellectual curiosity?

Sure. It won't work for everyone and every topic... but think about things that you know have worked for you in the past:

1) Be passionately curious yourself (good point John!)
The brain is tuned to mirror the behavior of others, so if your passionate curiosity is stronger than the other person's passive disinterest, you have a chance to "infect" the other person. It's not just that you know what's exciting, wonderful, fascinating about a topic--it's that you genuinely feel it, and this is reflected in the way you talk about it, not just the actual content of your words. Passion breaks through.

2) Be seductive
That means knowing when--and what--to hold back. Don't hand them all the answers... take them part way and tease and tantalize them into going the rest of the way. The brain wants to find out what happens next. It's what keeps you watching the movie until the end, staying up late at night with a page-turner, tuning in next week (especially if last week's episode was a cliff-hanger), and hoping for that second date... NPR refers to the phenomenon of wanting to hear the end a driveway moment--where you're listening to an engaging story (like on This American Life, or a radio diary) but arrive home before it's over. You can't get out of the car. You just have to hear how it all turns out.

3) Make them curious by doing something unusual, without an obvious explanation (a variation on #2)
In the Parelli natural horsemanship program, I learned a new way to "catch" a horse. I walk into the big pasture holding the halter and instead of walking straight toward my horse, I kind of meander around not even looking at her. Then when I come close enough for her to know I'm there, I stop and turn around so my back is to her... and I might even start walking away while fiddling with whatever I'm holding. Eventually, she can't stand it and has to know what I'm up to and why I didn't try to catch her. So she'll come over and "catch" me. (For all you pet people, I'll mention that we are not allowed to use treats as an enticement. They're coming because they're curious and it triggers their play--rather than fight or flight--instinct). In the book/movie "The Horse Whisperer", Robert Redford's character spends hours sitting in an open meadow until the terrified, escaping horse finally walks up to him. Curiosity can beat fear.

4) Offer a puzzle or interesting question... without giving them the solution.
It's almost impossible to turn away from a TV game show when a question has been asked but not yet answered. But it works for almost anything that engages the brain's strong desire to find solutions.

Here's an example (many of you will know the answer to this already, so it won't work for you... but it works quite well on most people who don't know this problem):
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Kevin, a college student, walks into the cafe where he spots Reese, the gorgeous math whiz he's seen around campus. He works up the courage to walk over to her, "Hey Reese, I'm Kevin, and I heard you're the only one to ever get an A in Bozeman's Stats class... I'll buy you dinner if you help me study for the exam."

Reese look up skeptically then says, "I need to know if you're worth helping. Tell you what, I'll write my phone number on the back of one of these three business cards. I'll mark them on the front A, B, and C, but you won't know which card has my number on the back. If you pick the right card, you can call me and we'll schedule a study/dinner date."

Kevin's not happy, "But what does that prove about me? You're not even giving me a 50/50 chance... but OK, if that's the best I can do... I'll pick card 'B'".

Reese is left with cards 'A' and 'C', and says, "Before we look at your card, I'll give you another chance. I've just turned over card 'A', so you can see it doesn't have my number. That means my number is either on the card you picked, 'B', or the card I haven't turned over, 'C'. Do you want to switch your card 'B' for my card 'C'?"

Kevin cocks his head and thinks to himself, Ah... she's trying to see if I recognize that the odds are the same for both cards (duh), since they both began with a 1 in 3 chance. She probably wants to see if I'm decisive and confident... He looks at Reese and says, "No thanks; I'll stick with my original choice 'B'. It's just as likely to be the winner as your card 'C'."

Reese flips his card 'B' over and shows that it's blank. Her phone number was on card 'C'. Kevin laughs and says, "Well, you didn't give me a fighting chance. All the cards had a 1 in 3 chance of being the right one, and at least I didn't fall for your little swapping trick... you should still give me your number."

Reese rolls her eyes, shakes her head slowly, and says with a frown, "You know Kevin, if you would have agreed to swap cards when I gave you the chance, I would have given you my number even if it wasn't the card with my number. Switching cards would have shifted the odds in your favor, and I was really hoping you knew that. Sorry, but I don't want to waste my time trying to help you."

Unhappy and a little angry with Reese, Kevin leaves the cafe and tells the story to his roommate Manny. Kevin says, "Reese is just wrong... there's no way that switching my card for hers at the point would have made any difference. Both cards started with a 1 in 3 chance, and nothing changed that."

Manny looks at Kevin and says, "Dude... Reese is right. Switching cards would have changed your odds from 1 in 3 to 2 in 3. You blew it."

So... are Reese and Manny right?

Yes, they are. Swapping would have changed his odds of having the winning card.

Your job is to figure out why it works that way... and if you want to learn it here, you'll just have to wait for another blog entry (later this week, I promise) to find out.

[Note to those who recognize what the Kevin/Reese puzzle is about: don't reveal the true "name" of this problem, so we can make googling for the answer a little less easy for everyone else ; )]
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People who don't immediately understand the problem and don't believe it, will often set out trying to disprove it (they're curious to find proof that Reese, Manny, and you are wrong), or they believe it but they're so puzzled by it that they try to find out what's going on (curious to understand).
The brain wants it to make sense. : )

There are obviously lots of ways to get people curious, but it's been a highly underrated strategy for getting people engaged, hooked, motivated... all prereqs for passion. Think about ways you might use curiosity as a technique in everything from user documentation and tech writing (including books) to teaching to dating to product development to marketing to horse training to parenting and even delighting your significant other.

Having a passionate curiosity is a true gift, and anything you can do to help give a little of that to another person is enhancing their life. If you want to truly delight someone, then seduce them (not the same as coerce or manipulate, if we make ethical distinctions--I realize some people don't like the word "seduce", but we love it) into being curious to learn more, grow more, stretch their mind, become more skilled, or just find out what it's like to be better at something.